Sunday, July 25, 2010

Being a foster brother, my 8 year-old's reaction

From day one (its been three day now), my younger son, Z, fell in love with his foster sister. Yesterday we took the whole family to a science museum and all he wanted to do was sit next to her in the car. On day two he told me that when she cries, he feels like crying. We had a talk about how toddlers express themselves and that is the only way, right now, that she can tell us that she needs something.

The first day she was with us, when Z came from camp, he told me that he was excited to come home to see her. She gives him spontaneous kisses and gets excited when he enters a room.

After our day at the museum, my son said, "she has changed on lives." I asked him if that was good or bad. He told me it was good. He has already been asking how long we get to keep her. He's asked more than once and I can see the attachment building and my worries starting.

Last night he worried that since right now I have been putting her to sleep by lying next to her on a bed, with a pillow under her head and transferring her to her crib, that she needs me to put a pillow in her crib also. I explained why it was safer to not put pillows in the crib. He also came out of his room to remind me that we had to move the shelf from next to her crib so that she wouldn't pull anything off. I reassured him that Daddy had already done that. He insisted on coming into the room to check.

I am so proud that we have been raising such a nurturing, loving son. I went into his room to kiss him (again) and tell him what a wonderful foster brother he is. I said, "you love her don't you." He said, "yes," and laid on his side to go to sleep. I told him that I love her too. And I do.


  1. The lessons he will learn out of this experience will be lifelong. My two girls have definately been able to exercise compassion since we started fostering. I hope this continues to be a rewarding journey for the whole family.

  2. ((hugs)) That's such an awesome story.

  3. Sillynelle,
    Thanks. I hope so too. And yours as well.

    Lisha, thanks. Will keep telling them. It is all very surreal right now and she is bringing such joy to our life.


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