This week is a very busy week with regards to visits from System workers. CD's case manager and our family's resource worker visited last night. Her law guardian will visit tomorrow. I find the most difficult visits to be with the case manager because she is the one with the "news." Her news always leads me to think about all the unknowns and reminds me of this limbo land in which my family is currently living.
Since our last visit with CD's case manager, CD's mother has called her a couple of times to let the case manager know that she has enrolled in "programs." The case manager took the phone numbers of the "programs" and at least one number is bogus and another program said that she enrolled but has yet to show up. CD's mother, when told that she has an upcoming court date in early May, told the case manager that she has an appointment that day. She then thought about it and said she would cancel it. According to the case manager, CD's mother did not ask about CD's well being and did not express an interest in seeing her daughter. She did, however, ask whether CD's father was taking his paternity test and mentioned that her fiance (not CD's alleged father) is currently incarcerated.
CD's father called the case manager three times this month to express an interest in taking the paternity test. The case worker said that they are playing "phone tag" as the father keeps leaving messages on the office phone after 5pm and has not called the case manager's cell phone as he was asked to do. She gets the feeling that the father is doing this on purpose, waiting for the clock to run out on his paternal rights. Apparently he has two or three other children. Since he lives with his parents, and there are no children living there, it is unknown whether he is involved in the lives of his other children.
The next court date will be very telling. After over nine months, if either parent shows, it could change the current trajectory of this journey. I'll be pretty much holding my breath until then.
4 comments:
W also have a court date, it's next week. Our foster daughter (8 mos) and her half brother are still connected in their cases. This court date is going to award custody to his birth father. Then the focus turns solely on the baby. Birth mom has said that she wants the baby now that she doesn't have to worry about getting the brother with her. Lovely. She is also claiming she has signed up for services required of her. She has yet to show to any and has only made 5 visits this year. Byt she consistently says she wants the baby back. We atte just holding our breath (like you) until her 9 month required period pass, which is about when she will turn 1. Then the court can look at the option of changing her permanency goal to termination. I an just praying that birth mom continues her current path for 3 more months.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Just know that you are not alone and that there is someone else out there going through the same rollercoaster of emotions. Hugs!
Kim,
Thanks so much. It really is quite the roller coaster ride though for us it is been pretty smooth, its just the potential for that huge drop that could happen at any time that is behind the pit in my stomach and the dialogue that repeats in my brain (what would we do if we lost her, how would the boys handle it, how would I keep it together for them. . .). Best of luck to you. We are at 9 months, but in our state it is the 12 month mark we are waiting for so we are on the same schedule. . .three more months.
I'm rooting for you guys. Based on everything you've shared about CD's "parents" (and I use the term VERY loosely), I wouldn't lose much sleep over it. They both have no interest and are just playing games. Why they're doing that I have no idea. Are their legal ramifications (other than losing CD) to not being responsive? Can they be fined or jailed? Can they lose certain benefits?
All in all, I'd say we have a lot of catching up to do as a society in recognizing that supplying genetic material does not a parent make.
JS,
I think that actually volunteering to give up parental rights is something they may feel they can't emotionally handle so they are going a more passive route. That's all I can think of.
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