I checked in with CD’s case manager and law guardian to get a sense of what to expect next. I wanted to know if the they had any idea whether CD’s mother is interested in visiting with CD and to get any other impressions that they could share.
I actually got more answers than I expected. The case manager said that CD’s mother was escorted to court by her boyfriend’s aunt. This aunt has been telling CD’s mother that she needs “to do right” by her child and go to court. The case manager believes that the aunt’s influence was the difference in this court hearing versus all of the previous ones.
I was told that the judge asked CD’s mother why she had not been visiting with her daughter for close to a year. He apparently really called her out and asked how any mother could go so long without seeing her own child. CD’s mother admitted that she did not think it was worth the trip (she is about an hour away) to see her daughter for just one hour. The judge told her that if she wanted to regain custody, she was going to have to comply with her weekly visitations. He actually wrote a court order that she visit with CD. As a result, a visit is set for Monday. CD will be picked up from daycare by her case manager and brought to the social service office to meet with her mother for an hour.
The judge also noted that he believes that this case will result in a termination of parental rights. The law guardian explained that CD's mother would have to be really compliant before the mid-June court date in order for the judge to push off the Permanency Hearing which is due to take place in July at the one year mark. The Permanency Hearing is when the judge rules whether the goal continues to be toward reunification or toward termination of parental rights.
CD's mother walked away from her first child, handing over custody to the child's biological father a number of years ago. She has chosen to remove herself from his life despite being completely legally free to be in his life. CD's mother has some choices to make, choices that will affect her relationship with her daughter for the rest of her life. She has a month to show the judge a side of herself that she has not shown since before CD was born when the system first became involved in her brother's life. It doesn't take a Ph.D. in Psychology to guess what the probability is that CD's mother will dedicate herself, even for the next month, to doing everything she can to get CD back. However, probabilities aren't everything. The choices are all hers. It is all up to her.
6 comments:
this whole thing stinks.
the mom didnt even want to come herself...after 9.5 months, she had to be dragged by someone not even related to CD?
it will be very interesting to see if the lady shows up for the visit. if i had any money, i would take bets...
i am very sensitive about "mom issues" this evening, and personally, the judge should declare "abandonment," and push for TPR before the 15/22 under aggravated circumstances or special circumstances (whatever your state calls it.)
how fair is it that the mother gets to do whatever she wants, living her life, while CD is basically living in lingo between two possible worlds?
i never understand this. the lady is not even trying, not even interested...after 9.5 months. no interest. she doesnt care or she is too selfish to put her child's needs first. nothing on the case plan...but the system keeps trying.
sigh..
LT, for now, it seems that the judge expects a permanency hearing at 12 months. That is July. Termination will become the goal. He may grant an extension if the mother shows a remarkable turnaround. I don't think anyone expects that to happen at this late date but its possible. I am hoping that Cd's days of living in limbo will be over relatively soon.
All I can say is thank goodness CD is too young to understand what is going on. Must be horrific if she actually remembered her mother, wondered where she was, and why she doesn't want to see her. At this age, the system is torturing you and your family. If CD was a bit older, she'd be the one being tortured additionally.
There should really be expedited proceedings in cases of no interest or where it would just be dangerous/useless to even try to reunify.
I hope that if CD's mother does come for the visitation today, that it is not tramatic for anyone, especially CD. I can't really imagine what that would be like.
Wishing you peace,
Kathy
As much as I hope this works out best for CD, I am distressed at how the piecemeal nature of the social service infrastructure seems to stand by at the destruction of the social fabric of the entire community and then step in when things get so bad that children need to be moved to the wealthy suburbs. This is not the way to address one of the worst social catastrophes in American history.
Anon,
I agree with most of what you said. However, in my county, the majority of families who are fostering are from the same neighborhoods and communities in which the children have been removed. There aren't many foster families in the upper middle class of our county, our family is an exception in that way. Of course, not needing the monthly stipend in order to care for children enables us to be in a place where we can afford to adopt and have the stipend cut off. Many foster parents simply can't afford to become adoptive ones without continued financial help.
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