. . .until the Permanency Hearing, last minute visits are leading to last minute reports. The law guardian sent out a representative to give one last interview, one last look at our home and one last check with me to ensure that we are still committed to adoption.
CD's biological mother missed another visit last week and has yet to schedule one for this week (the visit would normally have been today). Her last words to CD, "be good for Mommy," haunt me and I wonder if it was her way of saying goodbye, some symbolic transfer of the "Mommy" title.
Ten days from now will mark a year since CD came out of that van looking tired and scared as she reached out for me and the stuffed animal Z held for her. When I started writing about her, she was my beautiful tiny China Doll, fragile, scared of almost everyone and crying when I was more than a foot or two away from her. She wouldn't even look in the direction of her now beloved Daddy or step foot in a bathtub without screaming. It is amazing what a year has done. My CD is swimming, climbing, singing, talking, jumping, running and is as affectionate a child as they come.
I am anxious and having bad dreams, overwhelmed with the magnitude of next week's court date. One day, one day *within the year* I may have a forever daughter.
**note: since writing this post, CD's biological mother has scheduled a visit for later this week.
5 comments:
Perhaps R has decided that the best thing for CD is your family and she is allowing the system to proceed in that direction. Missing, or not making, appointments cannot be favorable to reunification, so it seems hopeful.
So sorry to hear about your bad dreams, and wishing you a speedy (although I'm sure to you, it can never be speedy) resolution to this.
Kathy
Could it be that R is actually doing what is best for CD? Maybe she realised that she could not provide for CD like you could, and that you and your family truly, truly love CD?
As sad as it is that she missed her visits, I am relieved. I hope things get resolved (or more firm) on the 20th. No extentions, etc.
I am so glad that CD 'found' your family. It seems like it has been the perfect fit. I LOVE how far she has come in a year. I LOVE that she will know that a man can be loving and gentle and kind and funny and give good guidance. I LOVE that she will have brothers that she will be able to talk to her whole life.
I hope R decides to find some reliable birth control. It can't be 'fun' for her to lose her children. I hope she can find peace and happiness.
I also hope you take some time for yourself. Have a bubblebath. Eat strawberries.
I've enjoyed watching CD blossom this year. I can attest to T.O.'s amazing parenting skills, having watched her patience and care in getting CD used to a bath, very slowly and gently.
Since writing this post, CD's bio mother has scheduled a visit for Thursday. I don't think she will be purposefully walking away.
Ugh. Was so happy reading this post until I got to the end and saw your update. Nothing in life is simple. Still, I highly doubt a last minute, rescheduled visit is going to change anything. She missed months of visits and even when she became "interested" again she skipped visits and rescheduled. It's pretty clear CD doesn't "fit" into her life. She can't even make time for short visits.
Hope it all turns out well.
Post a Comment