Our next court date for CD is less than two weeks away. Our last court date was 3 months ago, the official "Permanency Hearing." At the hearing, because CD's bio mother had been partially compliant with visitation and therapeutic programs, she was given an additional three months to offer the court reason to continue to maintain the reunification goal.
The upcoming court date will mark just under 15 months of CD being with us in foster care. Having come to us at 17 months, it also marks being with us almost half of her life!
Yesterday, I received a call from CD's case manager. In addition to telling me that the case has been reassigned to a new case manager, she told me that the court report for the upcoming court date has been completed and that the System will be making an official recommendation that the permanency goal be changed to adoption.
R, CD's birth mother, has disappeared again. She last saw CD in the first week of August. She was in touch with the case manager once in early September but was a no show to a visit to which she said she was coming. R is now off the grid. Her phone number has been disconnected and the System workers have been unable to locate her. The case manager said that she sent a certified letter to R's aunt because that is the only place that she can hope that she can count on R receiving the communication.
I almost can't believe that we are here. Becoming a foster parent, I never actually expected some incredible child who would need a forever family to fall into our laps. I never imagined that I would ever start again with a little one and actually have the privilege to raise a daughter.
I admit, in the midst of my cautious optimism and joy, I am sad for R. She is missing out on knowing this incredible child to whom she gave birth and raised for 17 months. It is sad to know that she is out there struggling.
While this is a step in the adoption direction it is far from over. The judge will get the end say as to what step will be taken next. I don't expect that this process will take less than another year, but at the same time I am relieved to know that we are taking a step to finally making what already is official. I really look forward to the day when I can simply introduce CD as my "daughter."
9 comments:
I also can't wait!
Congrats! Really glad to see things finally moving in this direction for you all.
What number case manager is this? I think the new one is at least number 3 if I remember your posts correctly. Is this typical? Do you get a new case manager because the previous one changes jobs or is just standard operating procedure to switch them up every once in a while? Does the lack of continuity affect you or CD?
What is the judge supposed to decide at the new court hearing? If R magically shows up (or "phones it in") does it matter? I'm kind of amazed how many chances R is given and how they're trying so hard to track her down. It almost seems to me like she's being forced to make an effort. It's not like we're living in some distant past where it's hard to travel and communicate. Someone who wants to be in contact with her daughter has ample means to do so even if they don't have much money.
I'm not sure what this court hearing is about if you still think it will take more than a year. What's the next stage?
Hey JS,
Yes, this is case manager number 3. Our current one was moved to an adolescent unit and has been telling us since April that we will be getting a new one. The new one will be a guy who is brand spanking new to the System. I am not happy about this. If the judge moves this over to adoption, we will get a different case manager though, one from the adoption unit. Our current case manager will be at court since she wrote the report and will come to the next visit with the new guy to help the transition.
Yes, this is totally common because of the nature of social service agencies but the goal is consistency.
The judge makes a decision as to whether he agrees with the System recommendations. This means he makes a decision to start the process of terminating R's parental rights. He can decide that R wasn't offered enough help by the System, for example, and force the System to keep running after her.
Court is generally every three months. Judges will usually follow the System recommendation though so we have reason to believe that most likely we will be moving over to adoption.
Technically, our state recommends that at this point rights be terminated (15 months out of 22 spent in foster care) but it is just a guideline for the judges, not enforced.
My understanding is that the termination process is a process as is the adoption process. I guess as I learn more I can explain more. I know that from the point at which the case moves to adoption until it is finalized, it has taken other families about a year so that is why I am making that estimate.
Yay! :)
Even with the mad love you know I have for your family and CD, I too am stuck feeling sad for R. My heart aches for her and the consequences of her own actions that she'll have to live with for the rest of her life.
I hope that having met you, she will dry her own tears knowing that CD has the best possible mom in the world. One who, in my daughter's view, is way cooler than me, anyway.
What is it that makes a mother cool anyway? I have a feeling I am not nearly as cool as she thinks. Oh yeah, I got the earring :)
That's awesome and wonderful news!
JS - I'm kind of amazed how many chances R is given and how they're trying so hard to track her down.
Don't be so amazed, there's generally a huge bias shown by the entire system to birth parents ... even when it's completely unwarranted.
I think this is wonderful news, and hope there are no unpleasant surprises at court.
Kathy
I hope you are able to adopt her soon.
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