A very Happy Chanukah for us!

Our second permanency hearing came and went on December 20th. As we were told, this actually *was* a permanency hearing. After the judge heard from the System folks and the defense attorney (CD's bio family members did not show for the hearing), we were invited in to address the court.

The tone in the court room was somewhat different this time. The judge smiled at us and chose different words when addressing us. It was no longer, "thank you for helping the family at this time," it was, "thank you for doing this." When he asked about our sons he asked, "are they excited to . . ." until he was given a look by the defense attorney so he changed what he seemed to be going to saying ("adopt CD") to ". . .have CD with you?"

The judge explained that we would be assigned a new case manager in the next five days. An ADOPTION case manager. While CD's mother and father still maintain their parental rights until they are officially terminated by the court, the court has now changed the "permanency plan" from reunification to adoption. The process can take anywhere from approximately 6-12 months (or longer if we are thrown a curveball, which we don't expect). I am not sure how the complete absence of the biological family affects the process but I guess we will learn as we go along.

Best Chanukah present ever! It took a while to feel real. My little girl, who has at this point been a part of my family for more than half of her life will be, almost certainly, my FOREVER daughter.

When we signed up to be foster parents, I told myself it would be enough to be a temporary family for children when they needed them. I did hope and dream though that a CD would happen. People keep telling us how lucky CD is to have us. They have no idea. We are the lucky ones.

Meanwhile, CD is no baby anymore. At almost three, she is a little person with a very distinct and strong personality. She prefers dresses over pants, wants her nails done at all times, refuses to stop painting the walls with deodorant and the teachers at her school tell me that they imagine her to one day be the head cheerleader in high school with legions of followers. She is a confident, opinionated child who doesn't shy away from telling everyone what she wants and what she wants them to do. CD is not exactly the spitting image of her to be adoptive parents. It is so exciting to watch her personality begin to take form not having any idea what kind of role genetics are playing. She is one of a kind and I love being her mom.

Another court date is over

What a week. Each kid was sick. I found out that my sweet cat who has been part of the family for over 15 years only has a few good months left and a we had a dud of a court date.

When I mean dud, I mean absolutely a waste of time. I was told that this November 30th court date was a Permanency Hearing. I was told that there were paternity test results that would be in and there would be an official recommendation to move the case over to the adoption unit.

Once I was at court, I sat for two hours in the waiting area. Then I met the new law guardian. She said that today was just a status report and not a permanency hearing. The case manager told me the same. They treated me like I was nuts for being visibly annoyed when I told them that I was sure that I was told this was a permanency hearing and took off a day of work for that reason. Later I found the voicemail from the previous law guardian that said "the permanency hearing is scheduled for November 30, 2011 at 9:00." At least I know I didn't hallucinate this information.

The law guardian asked if I wanted to go to work and not wait until the case was heard. I said no, I'd like to address the judge. Honestly, all I wanted to say to the judge is that I need proper identification for CD so we could visit with family in February (we would need to fly) and I have been asking the case manager and law guardian for the identification for a year now (with no success).

A little while later, the judge rescheduled the hearing for the end of December. The case was not even heard. I waited, by myself (not a good idea, I should have said yes to my friend who offered to come with me) for nothing, just to sit and wait. None of CD's bio family members were there. The case manager did say that it's "looking good for adoption" so I guess I got something out of going.

An attorney friend called later to get an update. He had some good advice for us and hooked us up with another attorney who may have further advice. The advice pretty much entails utilizing our right to write to the judge to offer information that we may not trust is getting to the judge with all these workers who are new to the case and may not be on the ball.

It's been a week.