Another kid whose life has been going from bad to worse
or
Why if you can be a good foster parent you should consider making the leap
or
Things I hate knowing because now that I know it's another thing I know and have to have occupying my brain as if I haven't already met too many abused and neglected kids who have also been screwed by the System
Anyway, I was asked by the supervisor of the principal of a special ed school where I sometimes consult to evaluate a few kids the other day. The one I am currently venting about is a tiny little 7 year old boy. He has been in foster care for the last two or so years in 6 or more placements and perhaps 3 or 4 schools. All of his siblings are currently in the care of their grandmother except for him, he has been living in one foster home or another.
The supervisor claims that the school doesn't know how to work with this child, J, because they don't understand the "adjustment" he is going through. Supervisor Guy is at odds with the school staff over how they are handling this child. I don't like this supervisor guy for a multitude of reasons. I find him clueless pretty much all the time with regards to all things insight related but I went to see the child wondering if "adjustment" was all there was to it.
This poor kid. "Adjustment" to yet another new home is the least of his problems. His IQ is in the borderline range (meaning he is slightly above mental retardation - at least that is his current functional level), he has a multitude of neurological issues which evidence themselves in motor delays, communication impairments and processessing delays. He is at the emotional maturity level of a 3 or 4 year. Not only that, he is a 3 or 4 year old *under distress*! So when he can't handle his emotions he is kicking, biting or running around. He can't verbalize or likely even put into words what he is experiencing inside.
Yet, when one home puts him out, the System sends him to the next foster home that says "yes." Mind you, not one that understands his needs, just the one that says "yes." I know, we get random calls because we are simply next on a list. The calls have *nothing* to do with matching the child to a specific home.
As he has moved around he has lost his doctors. He is not currently being followed by the neurologist that once followed him. Once again at a new school, the school has not yet had the ability to implement the IEP which of course should afford him every type of therapy that exists. The foster parent has not even reached out to the school. Only the biological parent has and the school has no idea why this child is in an out of home placement or what is expected to happen. The biological parent has not lived with her child in years but she is the only one even talking to the school.
Anyway, it is nuts and sad. This child is so at risk for continued upheaval, restarts and egregious continued neglect because he isn't a CD. He has so many needs. His situation is so complicated and involves so many people and so many services that no one even seems to know where to begin.
To the school staff's credit, I think they are making a great start. But really, sometimes I just hate this System.
7 comments:
I feel like weeping over these 'lost' children.
I hope you were able to offer some help. That poor kid. None of this is his fault, and yet he will pay for everyone else's actions, or even their lack of actions.
The system is really broken. But perhaps the real answer is to find a way such that these children do not need the care of the system in the first place.
This is heartbreaking. As a parent of boys with special needs, I know how much effort is needed for them to succeed within their abilities. I often feel like I'm not putting in enough effort, and I'm a very involved parent.
After reading this I just want to cry.
Very sad.
Do you think having group homes for children like this would be beneficial? Maybe I'm showing my problem-solving mentality too much here. I just wonder what could be done for children like this. Maybe a group home would offer stability and the same caregivers and doctors and therapists and teachers. I don't know much about the difference between group homes and foster parenting arrangements. I know of a group home near where I live and a young Jewish boy there with special needs regularly attends our synagogue and is looked after by our synagogue's rabbi. He seems to be benefiting tremendously from the group home and I imagine he would be far worse off if he were bounced from home to home like the boy you described. Can you provide more information on these two options?
JS, Actually, group homes are where the kids who have failed to thrive in fostercare often go. If they fail in groups homes they are sent to residential treatment centers. The thought is that a family environment is the healthiest for a child as the goal is for them to go back into their bio family or join a new family. That is why the other options are more like backup plans if family settings fail. I don't know why this particular child has continued to be placed in family settings but no doubt group home will happen if he continues to get put out of foster homes. I am guessing since the bio mother is involved, the goal is still reunification and perhaps there are those continuing to argue for the need for a family environment for this child.
I have seen quite a few 'group homes' for children, and more and more group homes are being focused on children less than 10 years old. The staff at these homes tend to come and go (no consistancy or bonds with the children), and the children seem to be habitually sick (yes - even moreso that typical children!).
The system is trying something 'new' (although the concept has been around for ages) in my area. They have group homes for children, but the home is headed up by two parents, who there hire support staff. I have seen a lot of positive outcomes in these homes.
I hope to see more of them in my area...
It is so sad to see that those who need "the System" the most are unable to get what they from it. Something is definitely broken and needs restoration, but the answers are not easily found.
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