Thursday, February 21, 2013
An addendum to my witness experience
In the end, despite my efforts and the efforts of the defense attorney, my patient's children were removed from her today. She violated 2 court orders and was caught on a surprise visit. My patient was fully aware of the consequences that would come as a result of her actions. I wish she had made different choices but they were her choices to make.
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Just a thought, but the way you word this, "In the end, despite my efforts and the efforts of the defense attorney, my patient's children were removed from her today", well, it makes it sound like it is a bad thing that they were removed. (And by saying 'despite my efforts' it sounds like you are taking some personal responsibility for this failure.) The mom knew the consequences, and may have even be placing these children in danger... I know you can not disclose the nature of the conditions, but she clearly chose her own needs/wants/etc over her children.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, she did not just violate one court order, but two.
The reality is we can put in all the effort we want, but your are right, in the end it is her choice to make, as it has been all along.
It sounds like this is resting on you - do you feel like you failed her? I think you went above and beyond, and even perhaps put your professional credibility at risk when you strongly advocated for her in court. What more could have you done?
As you know, this will most likely not be Mom's last shot. She will get every and all chances (most likely) to get her kids back, so maybe this set back will be helpful long term? Maybe this is what she needs to keep her on the straight and narrow from now on? And maybe knowing that you will still support her will giver her the pluck she needs to ride this out.
You never know how much you have touched/affected someone... But I believe that you are spreading positivity around you, and that this Mom will find a better path in life, in part, thanks to you.
Anon,
ReplyDeleteIn the future please use a moniker. Just to assure you, I in no way put my credibility on the line by testifying with the truth. My patient's violations did not place her children in danger. In the words of a sip visor from my county with whom I met tonight as we adopt our foster daughter, in our county these children would not have been removed and those kind of court orders do not happen.
Typo, I meant I met with a supervisor. As I told the judge and regular readers know, I am on the side of the children and would be the first one to reach out if children were in danger. And yes, each case is different. If you read more of my blog you will see many hateful comments for times when I believed terminations were needed, including my soon to be forever daughter. I stopped posting the hateful comments. I moderate comments to leave them out now, but go back to 2010 and they are there. Then I was called a system suck, my daughter was my meal ticket and I was accused of believing everything the "nice social workers" told me. I am not a newbie. I have been working with this system in various roles for most of my career. It is a broken system. Period. That means everyone loses. Everyone. The kids, the bio parents, the foster parents and all the workers involved. It is broken. But I am still in it as both a clinician and foster to adopt parent trying to be one of the good guys every day of my life and on this blog I call it as I see it.
ReplyDelete