Thursday, February 7, 2013
Resigning after my day on the witness stand
I have had quite the traumatic day.
I have been working for many years in the same county in my state. I also live in this particular county. Since the summer however, I picked up some per-diem work in a nearby county and have been since introduced to fostercare system dysfunction at a whole new level. Who knew that not half an hour from my home was a county who trigger happily takes kids from their biological parents, then treats the parents like dog sh*t, where case workers won't return even the treating psychologist's phone calls and where a psychologist will get subpoenaed to court as the System wants to remove the patient's children after reunifying them in May. This is, without even communicating with said psychologist (me) to tell me that they had concerns regarding her progress so I could even know to address them in therapy.
In the particular case I am venting about today, my understanding is that the workers never liked the decision the previous judge made to reunify the family. After today, being on the witness stand for over an hour, I believe that I was not hired to actually help my patient grow, I was hired as a spy and witness to how awful she really is. And let me tell you, the way the DAG tried to manipulate and twist my words because she did not like that I was reporting progress in therapy and a belief that there is reason to be optimistic . . .when I reported on the positive experience I had when I had an opportunity to have a session with my patient and her toddler, well, let's just say it was one of the more awful experiences I have had as a psychologist.
As a therapist, communications between patient and therapist are supposed to be privileged. In therapy we do not judge our patients. We build rapport, we work together to build on strengths, develop better coping mechanisms, develop better problem solving skills and make wiser decisions in relationships. We DO NOT treat our patients with the intent of sharing the intimate details of their lives in a court of law. We DO NOT feel it is in the best interest of a patient to subject her to listening to her therapist, in a court of law, explain her diagnosis and her limitations. In all my years, even including the probably more than 100 evaluations I have written for the courts, I have only been subpoenaed one other time. That case was in 2005. It was a last ditch attempt of a defense attorney to prevent a 15 year-old from being tried as an adult in a felony manslaughter case.
It was horrible. I told the truth and nothing but the truth. My patient teared up many times. The workers on the other side got smug when I said something in line with their case and I felt like punching them knowing what their adversarial style is doing to my patient and now our therapeutic relationship. I hated that the DAG could just shut me down mid-sentence, even when I wanted to make sure I said something with enough clarity and the judge allowed it. I hated it all.
In therapy, nothing is black and white. People are not all good or all bad. There are no saints and no one spends their time attacking another for their sins. We build relationships, we work together. It is about growth and healing. Court is about playing debate team and seeing just how well you can decimate the other team. Except in this case there is no "team." It is a human being sitting right in front of you, in my case, a woman I have grown to care about as she is my PATIENT, being torn to shreds. It is attorneys knowing they did a good job if they sufficiently convinced a judge that a human being is beyond redemption. No empathy, no kindness, no room for grays.
I will be resigning from doing this kind of work in the future. I will not subject myself to being anywhere near a witness stand ever again. I became a psychologist for a reason. And it sure as hell wasn't to do what I did today.
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My family therapists often got calls from lawyers in divorce proceedings telling them they would be subpoenaed to testify. I would call the lawyers and tell them that if they followed through, the testimony would be given in a way that would damage their case. My staff never got called to testify in 20 years on the job.
ReplyDeleteouch, I could not stand it for one minute, so take what i say with a shaker full of salt. This hurts to hear; if the good people who want to fix the world (if I read your name aright) cannot stand it, who will help?
ReplyDeleteThe poor bio parents of that county.
(I am guilty too, I need to make a hundred tiny changes to our house before I could try to be a foster parent (trying where possible for reunification, no interest in adopting), like fixing all the outlets the incompetent painters left hanging out 5 years ago).
liza bennett, you pulled the words from my mouth. I know this had to be extremely difficult and disheartening for tikun olam, but as a professional, tikun possibly has a voice that carries measure. Please, tikun, don't wimp out. It is all about the children.
DeleteSherikuebler,
DeleteIf I feel that if I am being set up as an adversary to my patients, it no longer becomes a therapeutic role that I can play. Sometimes therapy can cause more harm that good. My patient having to watch me torn apart on cross, had to have done something negative to her. No one wants to see a trusted person in their life, and therapists can often be seen as ideal parent type figures (as is the case with this patient) be treated with such disrespect. I sit here thinking that I could be in private practice making $150 an hour but instead (and because fortunately my husband's salary offers me this option) I take my training and experience and offer the same level of care to people who can't afford it that my colleagues can offer wealthier patients. It has brought great meaning to my life and what I haven't earned in dollars I have earned in self respect.
I have been at this for most of my career. There are many ways to help and where I believe I can help is where I will be. Of course if I find that the judge made a decision to not remove the kids and I helped that happen. . .I may find it was worthwhile afterall. I have no intention of resigning as a psychologist who works with traumatized and mental ill children and adults or stop writing court evaluations but I don't think I will treat any more patients in that country being referred through the child protective system.
On the other hand, I have helped a few families reunify in the last few months because that Ph.D. that comes after my name makes judges inclined to care a little bit about what I have to say or at least what kind of services I am recommending.
This seems to be the way of the dysfunctional system. We had a 17 year old daughter who ran away, lied and manipulated everyone. We went thru 4 horrendous months before we got our day in court and the night before it was all dropped as if it never happened. But our county office insisted on putting my husband & I on the abuse index for 10 years. Almost a year later we got our hearing and 4 months later the decision. We would not be placed on the index. The hearing was a circus at the taxpayers and our expense. I could not believe how the social worker lied under oath and twisted words. The counselor we allowed into our home was just as guilty and wouldn't even look at us the entire time. Facts were very twisted and they even brought in my husbands estranged drug addicted sister as a witness for the state. What a travesty the system is. We were fortunate enough to be able to hire a lawyer. But what about those who can't or use a court appointed one who doesn't help. It makes me sick. I could go on & on about the wrong doings that occurred in our case. I can't even begin to fathom the whole picture and how many are affected. I have completely lost respect for the system and its kangaroo court. You are guilty until proven innocent and there is no justice. It is based on preponderance of evidence. Most people have no idea. Once upon a time I wanted to be a foster parent. I thought I would be helping abused children. But, the reality is the family is abused by the system.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. That is really horrible.
ReplyDeleteIs there any way for you to have some other input into the case, such as writing a letter to the judge?
Why are the authorities in that county so anxious to take the kids away? Is it just over-zealousness?
I had a long talk with the clinic director and she told me that there is serious history here. When I got hired, it was the first time this clinic was willing to sign a contract with the System as in the past there have been so many ethical violations by the System that the clinic wanted nothing to do with them anymore. The director said that there are new judges now and that they are people that she trusts. The old head judge was apparently anti-bio parents and the standard for "good enough" parenting was impossible to meet once there was any complaint on a family. When I have gone to her with my frustrations, she has gone to the powers that be to get what I needed (mostly information and returned phone calls that I wasn't getting after repeated attempts). She thinks that the old judge set the tone for the county workers and there is likely a lot left over from that era still in the current workers, prosecutors and law guardians. She is encouraging me not to be afraid to fight and to trust that these judges are not necessarily of the same mindset as the witch hunter workers. I just don't know if I need this in my life. I fight for a lot of people. I need some down time too. There is something to be said for not spending your life as a martyr.
Delete...and now you know why I never practiced Family Law. If you have a heart, some ethics and morality you cannot be engaged in a system where life altering issues are decided on the whim of a Judge who likes to play G-d without concern for the consequences.
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing sounds pretty horrible!
DeleteBut who should decide if not the judge in these kinds of cases? Maybe the judges need more/better training, but who else could decide?
Do you, by chance, feel any differently about this post now that the outcome
ReplyDelete1-Is what you wanted, and the children were not apprehended?
2-Were apprehended in the end because Mom violated clear court orders?
Separate the two questions. Do you answers differ?
I see a lot of bias from you against how the system treats the bio parents. Shouldn't you take each case worker, and case, on an individual basis? I am NOT attacking you here - just pointing out that each worker is different. Each judge is different. Each case has different merit, and you may not have all the relevant facts.
You are trying to do a good thing. But what if returning the children puts them at future risk? IE, returning to an alcoholic may not seem like the end of the world. But if Mom brings home a sexual predator in her drunken state, or leaves a young child unattended or....
It is hard for anyone to know what is best. I think the question is, "Would you have done anything differently?". In the end, that is all that matters. You did your best for what you believed in.
Anon,
ReplyDeletePlease read my blog beyond these last few posts. All the answers are there.